The Frenemy.

Jul 29

Social Media Links in the Form of Fall Out Boy Songs

-My Agent Thinks I Need To Promote Myself More Instagram

-My Other Blog Is An Instagram Facebook

-You Take Too Many Selfies For Someone Who Never Looks in The Mirror Twitter

-The Only Thing Between You and Me Is the Internet My New Makeup Blog: The Makeup Coven

Lippie Tippies for National Lipstick Day -

Lipstick Tips on the new Makeup Blog!

Happy National Lipstick Day! Call the MAC lipstick you love today

Happy National Lipstick Day! Call the MAC lipstick you love today

Jul 28

Bikinis weren’t just a functionally attractive item you could slap on and go to the beach in, you had to be bikini ready for them. Essentially, this meant you had to look like a swimsuit model, all flat stomach and no body hair, but do you know how hard that is for an average thin-curvy-sometimes-chubbyish person like me? Do you know how many women and people in general fluctuate on the body spectrum and consistently look far from “perfect?” Do you know how hard it is to feel good about yourself when so many people tell you how far you are from that perfection? Do you know how hard it is for a normal human being, such as myself, to look fine in a bathing suit? I’m not talking like “whoa, she fine,” I’m talking “completely passable in a retro tankini.” I’ll tell you: it’s hard. I have cellulite. I have that little bit of fat that bulges out between my breasts and my armpits. There are things on my body that you can’t just photoshop out. It’s not even like I am sitting on the couch like a giant slug, refusing to move until somebody pours salt on me (although momma told me there would be days like this). I MOVE. I RUN. I am a living, breathing person who puts vegetables into herself, and guess what? She likes going to the beach. So what does she wear? A bathing suit. Fuck it. I might look my best in dark lips, a day old top knot, and a sexy gigantic t-shirt, but I gotta feed my calling to the sea.

And not because I’ve been called a manatee, once, in middle school.

The real question I should have asked is..don’t you ever just want to go to the beach? Cuz I know I do.

” — Working on my 2nd book and getting totally real in the dieting chapter. This first draft is really coming together, guys!

Jul 25

50 Shades of Bestseller

-rich tortured dude mean to lady in college, a blossoming lady if you will. About to be snipped by a hottie of almost all of her life energy.
-really rude but also buckets of money, which balances out his meanness to a rich sort of mean. Maybe he has a mean mother? Women can be mean too lol
-gruff but also reaches hand out like “don’t leave!”
-but his eyes are so blue, so it’s okay
-you don’t understand, like an ocean blue you get lost in, also devours you and basically is a regular blue. Or maybe grey, I don’t know, you’ve seen many different eyes perhaps you can imagine
-lady is brunette but somehow different in many ways
-different like “holds books” and “drops the books”
-“I don’t know what’s come over me, I keep dropping these books” *bites lip*
-“I will kill you if you stay” lol okay definitely staying
-“nothing much to see here, folks” the whole town says about this guy hovering over a young blossoming woman
-“I wore this new dress for you, it’s silky” “I love you so much now”
-only person who hates sexy rich gruff man is some other man
-“as a man, I know what’s best for you, stay away from him!” “SORRY, I only listen to one man. One man limit here.”
-gruff man takes women out for dinner, so the woman can nibble and find she doesn’t have a taste for wine
-nibble, nibble, can we have sex now?
-why?
-I dunno, I have this problem.
-what problem?
-too much money, mean to people. On a side note, what do you think about liberated women or what have maybe you heard about other women
-I dunno, I am surrounded by a lot of older men so cool, let’s do it
-sex is kinda like sex in a real “this is definitely sex” kinda way
-when I was a kid, I thought sex was just grunting in sheets, and that’s what this is
-some problem happens, rich man carries brunette around. Guess he’s okay
-she stays forever, mean guy wins! Men!
-but he’s super nice you don’t even know him
-bites lip