Proper celebration of a second book deal, ooook
I am so excited to announce I am officially writing a second book with Plume books!
I know it’s not proper etiquette, here, but all I want to do is put on some fierce lipstick and guzzle whiskey as I run around the city in celebration.
This second book is an important one for me. It will not be about being a 20-something. (PS If you haven’t read the first one, links are on the side you beautiful disasters.) This next book will be about being a woman, a feminist, and my own accounts of the female experience. It will be funny but it will also be extremely raw for me: I’m gonna slice myself open and write about some pretty real-ass things, some of which I was too timid to do on The Frenemy, even. But I am ready to write this book. I am pumped to write this book. I think it is something I have to do because it is nibbling in my stomach and will pop out like an alien no matter what.
And as always, I have you guys to thank again—loyal readers who were the backbone I needed to get this book proposal picked up. I love you, I love you, I love you. This is for you and I hate when people say that but I really mean it: your support has made me into a warrior, because to me, you are all warriors too.
NOW GO and drink something hard tonight to celebrate with me! I know I will, while watching the first season of the OC.
A portrait of my Thanksgiving. Grateful for a myriad of people, food things, television shows, and internet posts. I raise a glass of whiskey to you, The Craft currently on LOGO, and the good kinds of traditions.
1. Crushing debt! Help!
2. The ability to irritate people with an abundance of lists on Buzzfeed featuring Gak
3. As if! Whatever! Talk to the hand!(Not being able to live debt free/living in a dark shroud of debt, the debt is everywhere, it is covering me)
4. What the genitalia of Ken Dolls looked like in the 1990s. I don’t remember it too clearly but I think it was like a cucumber buried in a mountain of sand
5. You could walk home by yourself and get kidnapped but people weren’t as paranoid about that. So a lot of your friends were kidnapped. Ashley F? Benjamin G? Nobody existed before 1995 named Aiden!
6. You didn’t really know how to feel about a lot of things because you couldn’t read internet articles the next day about how those things were racist
7. Pencils! Erasers! We are depleting the resources of this great nation!
8. Oh great this fucking toy the 90s kids were the only kids with the toys. Look this toy is a bug we baked oh look this toy is so small even an adult can choke to death on it
9. Hermit crabs are now extinct
10. Easy Bake Oven Deaths
11. Living in fear that tonight would be the night your Furby would quench its bloodlust (Furbys came out in 1998 don’t you fucking question me)
12. A world without The Situation
13. The exploitation of children’s emotions were done with real dogs instead of CGI
14. It was fun because nobody realized yet that the Internet was full of murderers
15. Children drank soda with wild abandon
16. Television! There was so much television that we can all sit around and remember it, together. Nickelodeon lol
17. The only book was Goosebumps it was the only book
19. (Yeah yeah)
20. People liked Hocus Pocus just fine and they kept their cool about the whole thing
21. Not everything circled back to Mean Girls
22. We could go to Taco Bell
23. Wingdings and debt! DEBT
24. Like, nobody actually had Lisa Frank folders except that one bitch. You all had the cat folders and you know it
25. The Simpsons
26. Living in a world where the 20-something generation was really smug about the superiority of their childhood.
27. Had to go outside school grounds to get hardcore drugz
28. Nothing. There are so many lists about 90s kids you all pretty much know everything please stop with the lists
Men. Fashion icons. Men. Men who have worn button-down shirts for almost 2000 years. Men who were born wearing charity run promotional t-shirts and Heineken boxers. These are the men that have opinions on the outfits I choose to wear. According to this article on the HuffPost, these men—decked out in basketball shorts though they have not run for years—realllllly hate our clothing. They also believe that we need to hear about it. Oh! OH! Thank you, Oh Lord in And1 Sweatshirt From HS! I greatly appreciate the advice! I only dress solely for you and old people, who seem to be the most vocal about my dresses! Still, in the words of “CARRIE BRADSHAW” it got me to thinking. I’d like to explain myself. I don’t want you to think I don’t love you guys and need to look like a constant walking fuck machine for you! So I’ve come up with a counter-list, explaining why I wear the crazy trends I do: