How To Be A Good Friend

  • Let them call you out on your shit
  • Listen, silently disagree, have them make some valid points
  • Realize that sometimes you’re a fucking idiot, or you’re fucking selfish, or you really screwed up that one thing
  • Not resent them for pointing out flaws, learn from them
  • In turn, tell them the stuff that bothers you too
  • Go for drinks later
  • Weepy drunk sob at them
  • Listen to their relationship problems
  • with the same dude
  • for as long as they need to
  • Never be the asshole who thinks their attraction to chicks is ‘a phase’
  • if they’re quitting, swat the cigarette out of their hand
  • remember their birthday
  • I don’t care if they aren’t in the same state. “I would walk a thousand miles” -Vanessa Carlton
  • do absolutely nothing with them for a whole day
  • hold their hair back when they are gross and sick and vomit is disgusting
  • pay for the cab when they’re too drunk to pay 
  • brunch
  • Go shopping with them
  • and tell them that dress looks stupid on them but man, that skirt makes their ass look great
  • remind them why they shouldn’t date that guy
  • tell them when themy should
  • see them without makeup
  • put makeup on them
  • remove phone from hand when drunk, even if death vice grip occurs
  • wanna cry? Fuck it, go ahead and cry
  • A lot
  • Realize you will never get those socks/that hair tie back
  • Be okay when they ignore your texts sometimes, because you will do the same for them
  • But mostly, make time for them
  • Keep their secrets
  • Make fun of them for those secrets
  • Deal with the fact they like that AWFUL band and really? How can you still like American Idol? Okay, I’ll watch it with you. 
  • never leave them behind at the bar, I don’t care how hot he is
  • Don’t be a slut and talk about them behind their backs
  • Watch Mean Girls with them
  • Pig out
  • No, really. Eat a whole bag of chips with them
  • Get the order of fries to share
  • Sit on a bench and eat fro yo with them 
  • FOOOOOOOOD
  • Spend a whole night just staying in and getting overly nostalgic with them
  • Let them yap forever when they need to ‘get something off their chest’ and it’s boring but you pretend you are interested
  • Don’t interrupt, they’re talking!
  • Get to know their creepy sister/frat boy brother
  • Dance around with them like an idiot with that gross face you only make when dancing
  • Watch that idiotic romantic comedy with them, I mean I want to see that movie and it’s not a big deal okay? It doesn’t make me any less cool! Shut up!
  • Talk about buying a vibrator
  • Overshare about sex
  • Be mildly embarrassed about this
  • Tell them that one song you are really ashamed you like hearing
  • Lay in their bed
  • Make plans to travel with them
  • Probably never travel with them
  • Oh, you’re tired? But they’re sad? Listen, you bitch! 
  • Drunk dial them instead of that guy you’re furiously making out with on Fridays
  • Give them your favorite book to borrow
  • Go to dinner even though you’re totally dating this great guy, he’s like, so great. He’s so cute! Oh my god you should have seen what he did yesterday!
  • Tell them their ex’s new girlfriend is a bitch
  • Even though she isn’t
  • Silently sit sipping your drink when they get hit on a bar, swear not to be jealous about this
  • Buy them a drink every once and a while because they are worth buying a drink for
  • Talk about being 35 together
  • When they want to lose weight, tell them that is fucking stupid
  • But eat some shitty fat-free vegetable shit dish with them anyway
  • Realize you don’t like their ex even though he was kind of cool, I guess I don’t have anything against him oh wait yes I do.
  • Giggle. Only giggle at your friends and Anne Geddes photos
  • Mention they will be in your wedding
  • not that you wanna get married anytime soon, Jesus
  • Pray you’ll never have to bail them out of jail, but you totally would
  • Seriously, I wouldn’t even know what to do if I had to bail you out of jail
  • Text them that thing that is funny
  • Meet their high school friends and end up liking them
  • No, you shouldn’t dye your hair blonde, MORON
  • Serenade them with Total Eclipse of the Heart or You Oughta Know
  • Let them take their PMS out on you
  • Don’t let them borrow more than 100 dollars, says my mom
  • Never murder them!!!!
  • Don’t buy them a cat, they don’t need that kind of responsibility
  • Borrow their clothing and maybe wash them when you’re done
  • Coffee? Okay! Let’s get coffee!
  • Realize you have had that shirt in the bottom of your hamper for a year
  • Talk to them in person more than you Facebook them, okay ZUCKERBERG
  • Tell them you are secretly attracted to that creepy mouth breather or Conan or something
  • Be proud when they do something good, like when the puppy finally goes to the bathroom on the wee-wee pad
  • Casually tell them they are pretty
  • make some time to go out to a bar with them
  • Shit, you’re not that popular, calm down
  • Feel very, very lucky they are in your life. Always.

Posted 1 year ago
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    THIS.. except alyssa refuses
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