Just a reminder that this is on Saturday from 7-10 at 200 Orchard! Again, super pumped to meet you all. And as an FYI, I will be wearing that lip stain I always barf about, except in hot pink.

Super hope to see you lovelies there. I’m kinda nervous!

Quick Ass Ways To Lose Weight

-feel the weight lifted off your shoulders as you refuse to conform to impossible beauty standards and choose to love and respect your body as is. Ah, just feel the pressure melting right off you! I feel so light and free

-stop texting that piece of shit

-start ignoring people who make you feel bad about your body or are just generally unappealing troll people. Look for the kinds of slugs that like Terry Richardson or say anything bad about Mindy Kaling, or don’t give you any of their fries. That’s 120-160 pounds of easy weight loss right there, just watch it slip away as you get into a bikini and prance all around.

-clothes are around 2-3 pounds, so be naked and do naked things with a cutie

-honestly, it’s summer and you don’t need a 4 pound statement necklace at this point in time

-please, please put down the puppy you are dognapping. That is not your puppy. Please join the party now. I will forgive this but not forget, and be mindful of all puppies around you from now on.

-finish the plate of nachos you were holding. That’s a quick one pound weight loss there, look how easy that was, so simple and nice

-pee out the 4 margaritas you enjoyed on a nice hot summer day, just pee it all out baby

Me and my wedding date

Me and my wedding date

Yo! The Frenemy NYC Meetup is next week!

I’m super excited about The Frenemy NYC Meetup at 200 Orchard Bar…which is at 200 Orchard Street…in Manhattan on July 19th from 7-10pm!

Seriously. So looking forward to meeting you all. Let me know if you are coming! We will drink cocktails and swap awkward stories and generally be merry before you go out and “kill the town” or “eat a drunk meal” on a Saturday night. This is definitely a low pressure, low key meetup to hang with me and also meet other cool ladies and obviously talk about lipstick.

ALSO: one of my bff’s met his boyfriend at my last meetup, and they’ve been together for 3 years and they live together and have a grill! So…magic happens at Frenemy meetups!

Hey I love my lipsticks but I hate when they stain my bf's mouth (and mess up my perf application as well) and he complains about the taste. Any suggestions for long lasting lipsticks or ones that won't make ppl gag when they kiss me?

I absolutely SWEAR by this shit, and I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again:

Sephora’s Cream Lip Stain in Always Red is made by witches. It is damn magic. It is sorcery. It is 13 motherfucking dollars at Sephora. Every time you wear it, a pinup girl angel gets a calendar spread.

I do not swear by many products, but damn, I swear by this one. It goes on like a lip gloss but dries like a matte balm. It smells like vanilla. It doesn’t feather and it doesn’t heavily dry your lips out. Put it on in the morning and it survives light kissing, heavy drinking, heavier eating, accidental face wiping, and general life until nighttime.

This is not sponsored, I just feel like it is my duty as a Lipstick Fairy to send this info into the masses. Take it, love it, thank me later.