The Frenemy.

Sep 05

Review: Kat Von D Tattoo Liner -

Oh, you know, just trying to write two blogs and a book and also not go insane! OKAY! Here’s my other blog!

Sep 04

Genuine Question For My Feminists

I’m talking to men directly in a chapter of my second book, and it’s resulting in a question I would like to crowdsource:

Does your brand of feminism speak to change men? To educate them? Do you feel like it’s worth to even speak to men who consider themselves anti-feminist or even misogynist? Or more so the men who are unconsciously partaking in bad behaviors?

Quite simply, does your feminism even include men at all?

Sep 02

I bought myself a card this weekend from @happyhourandco, which I will give to myself when I hand in my comedy memoir about being a feminist. Also: it will come with a bottle of whiskey.

I bought myself a card this weekend from @happyhourandco, which I will give to myself when I hand in my comedy memoir about being a feminist. Also: it will come with a bottle of whiskey.

Sep 01

Things I Learned In The Summer of 2k14

Scalp sunburn really hurts. Moisturize your neck. Give your nails a break sometimes and keep them bare. Be bare. Invest in a million different bras, including racerback and sport and ones with small straps and strapless one, too. Go braless. Take more napkins. Even more napkins than that. More. Recycle the napkins. The ice cream will melt right away. It’s melting now.

Bring a book on the long trip because your phone will die. Take more pictures. Day drink. Trade a whiskey drink for a cold lemonade sometimes. Go out with your friends. Talk to them about your problems and fears. Eat more things on sticks. Wear the clothing that makes you feel comfortable. Reveal the amount of skin you want. The sweat on the back of your knees won’t show on the seat.

Get all of your eye makeup off. Rub it again. Come on, there’s still more. Wear dark lipstick even in the summer. Give your skin a break by putting nothing on it but light moisturizer for three days straight. Buy a headband that pulls your hair back when you wash your face. Moisturize your legs. Shave them only if you feel like it.

Love your beach body. Part of loving YOUR beach body is not judging anyone else’s. Also: a little ass sweat never hurt anybody.

Ignore catcallers. Dream about ripping their vocal chords out their necks. Stay off Facebook. State your opinions. Call people out respectfully. Call people out gently. Don’t call people out on Facebook. STAY off Facebook.

Women are not a commodity. Women are not a commodity. Fight this. Fight this. Fight it. Fucking fight it. You knew it before this summer. Fight it more.

Ask people for new music. Buy vegetables and eat them all for dinner. And ice cream. Take care of yourself. You know what this means. Do it. Take care of yourself. Spend some time outside. Spend some time inside, with the fan on your face, thinking about absolutely nothing.

Watch the sun set often. Wake up, make your bed, drink lots of water, and try not to complain. Don’t wait till next year to go for it this time.

Aug 30

EDIT

this chapter has graduated to being called “Hey, Dude” and it is OUTRAGEOUS. MORE WINE.

"I get it, you’ve been this way your whole life. Ever since you started wearing Superman underwear, and then graduated to Superman boxers, and then graduated to old and ratty Superman boxers, you’ve been told stupid shit about girls that you started to believe. Between eating large amounts of cereal out of bowls that weren’t truly made for eating cereal or even harboring any kind of food at all, between high-fiving other dudes over things like “short skirts” and “people doing skateboard tricks and falling,” you’ve become somewhat of a caveman. Baby, it’s not your fault. Baby, smile for me! Why don’t you smile for me? Baby, you’re looking goooooood today!"