October 2012
5 posts
The Hurricane
So I’m being really “whatever” about the hurricane because it’s name is Sandy, which is the name of a friend of mine who is quite harmless. And also because I have been distracted trying to find my Hocus Pocus DVD. And also because I never prepare for anything and I’m not putting water in my grody tub.
So.
I know that the joke is ”hey, let’s all just go...
I did it once, I'll do it again!!
About a year ago, I had a meetup for The Frenemy at a place called the Cakeshop in New York City.
It was one of the best nights ever. I met some crazy amazing women. I drank a lot. My roommate, Adam, met his boyfriend Jimmy there. Unbeknownst to me, my future boyfriend would buy me a beer, hand it to me, and immediately leave. What I’m saying to you is my meetups are like Millionaire...
Halloween Costumes I Have Considered
Any of the Sanderson sisters except who cares about the Victorian dresses, I would just suck the life out of children
Sally from Nightmare is impossible, you give me one person who has done that and doesn’t look lik a fucking creep
a disgruntled 24-year-old woman on a Halloween bar crawl, giving stankeye to the “sexy urinal” costumes that some women choose to adorn themselves...
I'm 24 but that doesn't make me a monster
It is 2pm on a Sunday and I am 24 and I am being exactly the generational piece of shit I am supposed to be. Hungover, watching youthcentric cable television, some popped-yolk eggs floating in a stomach that just got back from brunch.
I bet you just got back from brunch. The lady in the dryer sheet commercial that somehow snuck in the center of a Jersey Shore rerun does not like me. She keeps her...
Things I Still Need To Learn
You’re gonna need to take a second and wash your jeans there, buddy. You have literally never washed your jeans.
Don’t THROW your socks in a pile in your drawer, take maybe thirty seconds of your feeble little life and put them in pairs, so when you have to go out with shoes you don’t dig through your clothing like a fucking dog who has no eyes and also wears two different...
